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Archive of ‘Sex and Relationships’ category

3 Early Relationship Red Flags You Should Avoid

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Finding the one can be tasking but once you find them, it is bliss all the way. However there are relationship red flags you ought to avoid because once you start noticing these red flags at the beggining of the relationship, know that you are in for a long ride filled with sadness and heartache.

They Shut Down

If he shuts down everytime you want to have a meaningful conversation, then don’t bother. That relationship might go sour very soon. You both have to be able to communicate with each other in words and action. You both have to know the deepest thoughts of each other so that you can get to know and predict the other person. No one else in your life is expcted to know you to that extent.

Entitlement

If the guy feels entitled, just walk away. An entitled guy will always make you feel you owe him something he will never be able to quantify. Yes, he won’t be able to tell you directly but he will act it everytime.

Attention Hungry

A relationship with an attention hungry guy cannot last. He will get jealous when you direct your attention somewhere else. It is a me me me all the time thing. You are expected to spend all your spare time and every other thing with him. He is never satisfied with any other thing.

Family planning good for unmarried sexually active women – NGO

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Mr Effiom Nyong, Country Director, Marie Stopes International Organisation Nigeria (MSION), an NGO, has advised sexually active single women to embrace the use of Family Planning (FP) methods to prevent unwanted pregnancy.

Nyong gave the advice in an interview with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Abuja on Tuesday.

He said that the various FP methods available today were made primarily to prevent unplanned pregnancies therefore they were equally effective and could be used by married and unmarried women.

He urged all sexually active single women not to be misguided by myths and believes in the society, but rather visit designated health facilities to receive proper counselling on the method suitable to them.

He criticised the use of the 72-hour pills by most young women, saying this is not a healthy method for preventing pregnancy as it can have adverse effects on the health and well being of the woman.

The country director said that no FP method available today was suited only for a particular age group, class or category of individuals but could be used by any woman at any time.
“There are different myths about FP either based on people sharing experiences that is not unique to everybody or people sharing unguarded and baseless information.

“This has been the biggest challenge of achieving effective FP in Nigeria. All peoples at all levels of social class are guilty of this and the best way to address this is to give yourself the chance to be counselled.

“Whatever your age or social status, you can go to any government or Marie Stopes facility to receive counselling and it is free; you will be told which method you are eligible for.

“More importantly is that you are the one who will make the choice of which method you want; no one will force you to use any method.

“There is no FP method tailored to any age group or any kind of woman neither is the method made for only those who are married as it is primarily meant to prevent unplanned pregnancy.
“We have the short term methods which can last from some weeks to three months and the long term methods which can last from three years to 10 years.

“The pills and the condom are some of the short term methods; the only challenge with the pills is that because you need to take them consistently and repeatedly for them to be effective you find that many people face the issue of complying to prescription.

“We also have the Sayana Press, a modern form of contraception that is injected and can last for up to three months. The Intrauterine Device (IUD) can last up to 10 years; we also have the implants Jadelle which lasts up to three years and other forms of contraception,” he explained.

Nyong said that these modern methods of contraception could be discontinued at any time if the woman wishes to get pregnant.

He said that although people react differently to the various methods, one would be properly be counselled and guided on the method most suitable to them.

According to the country director, some people will say “why should I take a FP method when I do not have a family. This should not be so as it is primarily for pregnancy prevention’’.
He said that with the help of the British Government, American Government and the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), the organisation has trained over 4,500 government health service providers.

Nyong said that the organisation has trained these service providers on the various FP methods, their uses, how to provide counselling to women and how to administer these methods.

NAN reports that Marie Stopes International (MSI) is a global organisation providing personalised contraception and reproductive health services to women and girls.

MSION as an affiliate of MSI was established in 2009 to increase access to affordable and high-quality modern contraceptives and confidential reproductive health services for women, men, couples and young people.

The organisation is present in over 34 states of the federation and some of its services include counselling and support on FP, child spacing, contraception, pregnancy planning and painful periods.

Others are sexually transmitted infections and cervical cancer screening. (NAN)

Why Women Moan During Sex and What It is Called

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Female copulatory vocalizations, also called female copulation calls or coital vocalizations, are produced by female primates, including human females, and female non-primates. Copulatory vocalizations usually occur during sexual intercourse and are hence related to sexual activity.

Yes, moaning during sex is called copulatory vocalisations and as much as you might want to think that you moan because of how much you enjoy the sexual intercourse, that is not exactly the case.

A study in 2011 published in Archives of Sexual Behaviour discovered that while many women admitted to being vocal, the majority revealed it was not as an indication of pleasure.

They spoke with 71 sexually active heterosexual women aged between 18 and 48 who revealead that they only moan to bring their partner to climax.

66 per cent of the women said they only make noise to spur on their partner to climax and bring things to an end while 87 per cent explained their motivation was to boost their partner’s self-esteem.

There you have it, moaning during sex is not as a result of female orgasm as some think, it is acutally a result of “just get it over with.”

The researchers wrote

 “While female orgasms were most commonly experienced during foreplay, copulatory vocalizations were reported to be made most often before and simultaneously with male ejaculation.

The participants also admitted they made noise “to relieve boredom, fatigue and pain/discomfort during sex.”

UAE Ambassador to Nigeria tasks women on family values

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The United Arab Emirate (UAE) celebrates the second Emirati Women’s Day, Fahad Obaid Mohammed Altaffag, its Ambassador to Nigeria, has tasked women on dedication and preservation of family values.

Altaffag said on Tuesday in Abuja that women across the world possess the capacity to maintain good family values and the nation at large.

The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that Emirati Women’s Day was launched in 2015 by Sheikha Fatima bint Mubarak

Mubarak is the Chairperson of the General Women’s Union, President of the Family Development Foundation and the Supreme Council for Motherhood and Childhood.

The day is part of a bigger movement to increase female empowerment, especially in the Middle East.

“The Embassy of the UAE in Nigeria wishes to congratulate the virtuous, patriotic and productive women of the UAE in Nigeria, at home and all over the world on this important occasion.

“The Embassy celebrates our women as the key custodians of our cherished family values.

“I wish to urge them to use this auspicious occasion to re-dedicate themselves to service to their fatherland and the preservation of the ideals of the founding fathers of our dear nation.

“Also, Nigeria women and others across the world should know that, the embassy appreciate their efforts in maintaining family values,’’ Altaffag said in a statement. (NAN)

Four Things Every Married Couple Must Always Say to Each Other

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Photo Credit: St Ives

Marriage can be a bag full of complications if not properly steered. Marriage counsellors always advise understanding and tolerance whenever they talk to intending couples. These two qualities build up the two individuals in marriages to make them a good couple.

I attended a wedding over the weekend and the preacher recommended these fours words married couples must always say to each other.

I am sorry

The preacher emphasised the importance of apologising, she went all out to tell the husband that hey, you are not getting married to an angel, both of you at many points will hurt and disappoint each other but you have to learn to say I am sorry.

I love you

I love you is probably the most common phrase on earth. People of all ages tell each other the word each and every single day. The preacher insisted that the couple must never forget to say I love you to each other because it reaffirms the essence of their marital life.

We will make it

This Christianese phrase gives hope. We will make it provides light and hope in difficult times. It helps married couples to stay strong during the hard times, to believe in each other and hold on to every inch of faith they have left.

Thank you

Thank you never wear out, the preacher even recommended that they thank each other for saying “I Do” as often as possible so that they don’t forget why they chose each other. She also emphasised thank you for the little things and big things

3 Reasons Why Parents Should Talk to their Kids About Sex

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Sex education is important. The level of sexual immorality we have all over the world is appalling, especially in Africa where our beliefs and traditional stoicness is preventing parents from teaching their children sexual values that should be imposed the moment a child knows how to differentiate their reproductive organs.

When I was growing up, I could talk to my mum about sex, many people always wondered how we managed to remain close, talk about boys, sex and almost every other thing. This openness with my mother allowed me to make matured decisions about my sexuality in life and this is how I learnt that it is vital for parents to talk to their kids about sex. Here are three reasons why.

Level of Immorality has increased drastically

Father raping daughters, neighbours, drivers, uncles, aunts, friends, the list goes on an on. All these individuals listed are potential sexual predators. A few days ago, a driver raped his boss’s 13-year-old daughter. She got pregnant and he even had the guts to send her mother some money to abort the child after he got out of jail. The level of immorality in our society had declined, things are getting worse by the day, you cannot raise your kids to be ignorant about sexual predators and their antics, there are paedophiles everywhere.

School is not safe

There is a seven-year-old boy who has had sex with over five girls in his lifetime, he started after he saw his mum sleeping with their neighbour in their one-room apartment so he just assumed that it was normal. He goes to school and shares gory details of the act with his friends who also pass it around. So if you think you think because you don’t allow your kids to play with other people after school, they are protected from these gory realities, think again.

Age-Appropriate Sex Education Now Exists

There is age appropriate sex education these days so you don’t have to worry about what you are teaching your kids and how much information is too much information.

3 Life Lessons Every Lady Should Learn from Davido’s Nwa Baby

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davido nwa baby

davido nwa baby

The 30 Billion Boss, Davido himself has released another blockbuster music video, pardon my french titled “Nwa Baby,” the song tells the story of a gangster armed lady who locked up Davido’s heart, used him for her personal gain and eventually let him go when lost interest in him.

As ladies, we tend to be so clingy we forget that we actually hold the keys to a guy’s heart. Now I am not saying you should use and dump a guy, that is just absolutely savage.

Men often make us think that they make the rules and they can do whatever in a relationship, when in actual reality, we hold the keys to their hearts and there is absolutely nothing anyone can do about it.

“What is my, what is my crime?
Buy you don thief my, don thief my heart
What if I, what if I die?
You must be a bomb o, you blow my, you blow my mind
No be my, no be my mind
But you don change my, don change my plan”

Nwa Baby held Davido’s heart in such a way that she even got him to drive the getaway car when she robbed a store, she was so bold and assertive to the extent that she was not afraid to dance Shaku Shaku at a local bar in broad daylight and at the end, she knew it was time to cut it off and move on.

First lesson

When a man is truly in love with you, he will do anything for you but to get there, you have to make him love you. You have to be amazing enough to make him love you.

Second Lesson

Fear will not get you anywhere, be bold and assertive, never be afraid to take what you want. I am not saying take up armed robbery, I am just saying don’t be afraid to go after what you want. A lot of you are still stuck in jobs you hate because of fear, don’t let fear eat you up. Make a boss move today and be grateful forever.

Third lesson

Know when to cut a guy off, yes a lot of you are still in abusive relationships because you couldn’t figure out when to cut the guy off. Cut him off if you have to, you will be better for it in the end.

7 Crazy Ways to Make Your Boyfriend Love You More

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If not properly fed and cultivated, love can wane and nothing is as bad as waning love in a relationship.

At every step of the way, you have to try your best to discover everything that made you fall in love with him in the first place. Here are seven ways to make your boyfriend love you more.

Be more touchy

Touch him at times he will least expect it, there is something about how you touch a man that makes him wanna devote his soul to you. Once in a while reach into his trouser pocket and feel his warmth, play with your hands on his body and let him feel how much your adore him.

Get his full attention

You don’t always have to recount all the details of your day everytime, you can get his full attention by giving him less and making him curiously probe for more.

Change your looks often

A very popular preacher once said her husband is married to a different woman every month because that is how often she changes her hairstyle and her looks. Let him see different women in you and have more expectations.

Play with scents

Buy seven perfumes if you hve to but playing with scents will definitely revive everything luxurious about your relationship. Let him be able to trace you with good scent when you are together.

8 Signs Marrying Him Would End Up in Divorce

Fill his heart with his stomach

Find a way to his heart with his stomach, feed him good food and he will definitely continue to love you more.

Go on long drives and holidays together

Go on long drives and holidays together, always ensure you have a way of spending time outside the confines of your daily living together.

5 Ways to Make Your Man Completely Faithful to You

Laugh and always be happiness

Happiness brings joy to our hearts and it is also contagious, ensure you wow him with the joy and happiness in your heart, smile, laugh out loud, infect him with glee.

What Being a Single Lady Will Teach You About Life

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You cannot afford not to be single at some point in your life, the only difference is that for some, the duration is longer than others. Singleness is that point where you realise your full potential and explore the awesomeness of being you.

Here is what being single will teach you about life

You have time to keep fit

Yes, might sound lame but hear me out, when you are single, you get to focus on yourself and what you look like without any form of gratification from the opposite sex. This self-conciousness will open you up and allow you to pay more attention to your health and fitness.

 Trophy Girlfriend: 7 Signs he is only dating you for bragging rights

Hobbies

Without the stress that comes with building and maintaining a romantic relationship, not to talk of the time that goes into long phone calls and dates, you will have time for other hobbies like reading more, writing more often, painting, knitting and what have you.

Focus on your career

You also get to completely focus on your career without the hassle of having to bend it to fit another person. If you are dating a guy that wants to relocate after marriage, you have to ensure your career goals also fit into all those demands. I know a girl that relocated to Qatar after marriage and had to become a houswife. Think about it

Personal Growth

Being single will help you pay attention to your own personal growth and development as an individual. On the long run, the lucky man who comes along will be grateful for it.

Joro Olumofin Contradicted his Contingency Boyfriend Advice Two Years Ago

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Two years ago in a blog post titled What is your “Plan B” aka Contingency Plan?,  the self proclaimed Love Doctor who is also an alumnus of University of Lagos wrote

In my Opinion; although a plan B or contingency gives you a relationship insurance which makes a sudden breakup less lethal or detrimental because some people after long relationships don’t find people to date or are even no longer interested in dating I.e emotionally scared. There should be no need for a plan B because it diverts your attention from your primary objective and creates less commitment or devotion. Going into a relationship with a Spare tyre mindset brings extraneous variables and may must times lead to SideChicks/SideGuys. Do what works for you in your own situation and environment.

Fast forward to 2018, this is the advice he now has for young ladies,

The question is what changed?

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