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Archive of ‘Sex and Relationships’ category

Joro Olumofin Contradicted his Contingency Boyfriend Advice Two Years Ago

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Two years ago in a blog post titled What is your “Plan B” aka Contingency Plan?,  the self proclaimed Love Doctor who is also an alumnus of University of Lagos wrote

In my Opinion; although a plan B or contingency gives you a relationship insurance which makes a sudden breakup less lethal or detrimental because some people after long relationships don’t find people to date or are even no longer interested in dating I.e emotionally scared. There should be no need for a plan B because it diverts your attention from your primary objective and creates less commitment or devotion. Going into a relationship with a Spare tyre mindset brings extraneous variables and may must times lead to SideChicks/SideGuys. Do what works for you in your own situation and environment.

Fast forward to 2018, this is the advice he now has for young ladies,

The question is what changed?

How Watching Zee World Almost Ruined My Marriage

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We were happy together until I got obessed with Zee World and I spent my entire time hooked to the magical world of bollyhood.

Obsession

I became so obsessed with Zee World that I forgot to pay attention to my actual life. Every single day when I am not in front of the television, I was hooked on my DSTV app and there were even days I stopped noticing when my husband gets back home because I had Zee World to comfort me.

I became selfish

No more football of BBC, it was either Zee World or nothing. At first my husband and I would have petty arguments on which channel to tune the television, later we settled on installing dual view so we can watch different things, later the tussle became about who will sit in the living room. Eventually my selfishness and refusal to share the living room with him ate deep into our marriage.

It made me depressed

My mood was absolutely controlled by what I was watching at the moment, if the characters were happy, I was happy, if they were sad, I was sad. I became a bag full of emotions based on my Zee World experience.

I became a TV Addict

Well, this came with health problems and it wasn’t a great experience. Even my kids had to bear the brunt of it all. It took a rude awakening to get me off my TV addiction.

 

8 Signs Marrying Him Would End Up in Divorce

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Marriage is every girl’s dream, especially if you have nosy family members who are already preparing for the ceremony without your consent. Believe me, as much as we all want to get married, we should also be conscious of the fact that there are telltale signs of whether the marriage will work or not.

Here are eight signs marrying him will end up in divorce

Money differences

Don’t tie the know if you cannot share the same financial plans. Money is very vital in a marriage and aside from sex, it is the root cause of a large percentage of divorce. You have to be sure that money differences won’t tear you apart after marriage.

In-Law Palava

Yoruba people say you can marry a bad wife but it is difficult to have terrible in-laws. In-Law palava will definitely put a strain on the relationship if especially they don’t like you or your husband to be.

Goals

Your goals have to align, if your goals don’t align, there is no point in getting married. You both have to support each other’s career and life choices and be each other’s helping hand. Anything otherwise can end up in divorce.

Battleground

If your courtship was a constant battleground, don’t bother about the outcome of the marriage because it will be the same. You both have to learn to get past your issues and be mature about it.

Interest in him

You have to be genuinely interested in him to make a marriage work. Getting lazy and not fostering a connection will lead to a bad marriage.

Communication

You have to fix the communication barrier before saying “I do” You both have to learn to communicate with each other. Communication is vital in any relationship even between siblings talkless of a life partner.

Sex

You have to be satisfied with your sex life before you tie the knot. If he cannot satisfy you in bed, don’t delude yourself by thinking that will change in marriage, it won’t. So carefully choose to stick with that man for the rest of your life come rain come sunshine.

Banking on marriage as a solution to all your problems

Although it is possible for someone to change, don’t think that banking on marriage as the only way he will change is a good recipe for a successful one. Marriage might not change him and the fact that before marriage, you are already thinking like this shows that your marriage might end up in divorce.

Trophy Girlfriend: 7 Signs he is only dating you for bragging rights

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Guys acquire a Trophy girlfriend to boost their ego. He will definitely treat you right but it is all for his selfish ego boost. You know the rep he gets when his friends see you and start salivating.

Here are seven signs he is only using you to do shakara among his friends

He is only interested in your looks

Well, your beauty is the only reason he is keeping you around, he will always compliment your looks at every corner, “oh baby, you look good.”

You have to be friends with his friends

The moment he starts introducing you to his friends early on in the relationship, like the next day, within the week, be rest assured that there is something up his sleeve. He is only interested in keeping you as a trophy girlfriend.

Read 4 Signs you’re accidentally cheating on your boyfriend

He is not interested in the deeper stuff

He is not concerned about your life or your personality, he won’t ask you about your past and all, he is only interested in what you look like at the moment because he is not interested in making the relationship last so the lesser he knows the better.

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He takes you around everywhere

Well, as a trophy girlfriend, you are his accessory so like handbag is to a woman, you are his handbag. An ornament he has to accessorise with every day.

He spends a lot of money on you

The money is not for your self-development, the money is to ensure you look good always and smell good too. I know a lady who carries two perfumes in her bag every day and not to talk about the bimonthly shopping trips. That is absolutely screaming trophy girlfriend.

Love at first sight

Well, I am not saying all love, at first sight, is trophy relationship status but well, he started confessing true love the moment he saw you, he showed desperation, he called too much, took you out at every turn, found ways to make you happy every single time, spoiler alert, he is just using you for bragging rights.

He never mentions the future

He won’t because he knows there is none between both of you.

5 Reasons Why You Should Not Date a Millionaire

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As much as dating a rich man is every girl’s dream, sometimes the experience it is absolutely not as McDreamy as you might have imagined it to be.

He won’t have time

Yes, you’ve heard the richest man in Africa, Aliko Dangote complain of his inability to make time and that is why he is twice divorced in his 60s. Well, guys that is what you get for dating a very rich man who knows that time is money. Every time spent with you affects his money.

More money, more problems

You have to be able to keep up with the lavish lifestyle, the girls, the constant clubbing, the hard drugs and booze, you cannot predict what his mood requires and dating him will become harder especially if you are not that kind of girl.

Read Dating a cheap guy is way worse than dating a broke guy

Money is his answer to everything

He will use the money to buy your anger and disappointment every single time, and guess what, you won’t be able to help that because well, that is why he is a millionaire in the first place, to be able to use the money to buy anything.

You will be called a gold digger

Yes, people around you, his family, his friends at some point will call you a gold digger especially if you are way below his level. Some people might not say it but in their minds, they will think about it.

Trophy Girlfriend

You will become shallow, your dressing and makeup, beauty routine will change because all you will care about is impressing him, looking good for him so that he will not look at someone else. Your entire life will revolve around beauty and fashion.

Dating a cheap guy is way worse than dating a broke guy

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The unemployment and underemployment rate in Nigeria is crazy, you have graduates working N50,000 jobs for four years without a promotion. Their monthly salary is not even enough to buy a good phone or rent an apartment. Majority of the guys you know are broke because of the economic conditions of the country.

But dating a broke guy is way better than dating a cheap guy. Cheap is different from broke because broke is limited by his current financial situation, cheap is not limited by any financial situation, whether he is broke or rich, he is just cheap.

Financial Surveillance

A cheap guy is all over you, he questions how you spend money, tells you what to spend money on and how to spend your money. He is the kind of guy who tells you a 25k watch is too expensive knowing fully well that you can afford it. In his mind, some things are just way too expensive and out of the league. Same class of guys who keep asking you why you are spending 20k on your hair when you have 2k options.

No Value

Cheap guys have no value, they don’t understand the concept of value. He will buy the cheapest pair of jeans he can find and keep replacing them every six months rather than buying a good pair for a good price. He is not frugal, he is just stingy.

Read 3 Reasons Why Money is Very Important in Marriage

No bills to pay

A cheap guy has no bills to pay, he is not interested in helping you pay the bills or offering to pay, in fact, he doesn’t mind spending your money for you. His presence as a man in your life is all the recipe you need to achieve anything. He is the guy who doesn’t say no when you politely offer to pay for lunch. He has no courtesy and he will justify himself by telling you he doesn’t want a liability but hey, he is the liability.

He is too cheap to spend on you

Part of feeling loved includes kind gestures that make you feel human, well don’t expect this from a cheap guy, he will not spend a dime on you and he will justify it by telling you he cannot afford it. He makes no effort even the tiniest effort to spend a dime on you. If you are in this situation, well, spoiler alert, you are dating a cheap guy.

3 Reasons Why You Should Never Settle for Being the Side Chick

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Sometimes a guy is never really honest with his relationship status, it’s a different thing to be blindsided by your partner’s infidelity, it is another thing to be the willing side piece. As much as you might love the side chick status, here are three reasons why you should never settle for the side chick status.

Other girls will hate you

You cannot share your mobile phone with another person, same goes for your man, deep in your heart, you know you cannot share a man with anyone else so why do that to another lady. Being a side chick breaks the bond of sisterhood and the main chick will definitely hate you.

Sex and money isn’t everything

If sex and money is everything you are getting out of the side chick relationship, they you are just wasting your precious times. There are other ways of getting sex without cheating your fellow woman and you can always work for money.

You will never be promoted to girlfriend

Even if his relationship is in shambles and he eventually breaks up with his girlfriend, you cannot count on him running to you because he will definitely want to start afreash. So why waste your time?

5 Ways to Make Your Man Completely Faithful to You

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Women should understand that men cheat because they want variety in their sex lives, not because they don’t love you. We often interpret cheating or signs of cheating as “he doesn’t love me” this is really wrong. While some men will always be Yoruba demons, not all of them is capable of becoming serial cheaters.

Here are five ways to make your man completely faithful to you

Always appreciate him

Even if he knows how much you love him, you still have to remind him every day, ensure you not only communicate affection and appreciation through words, communicate through your actions too. Be supportive and appreciate him every step of the way.

He needs Space

Everyman has his own thing going on, so give him space to do his own thing. Give him time for himself. Let him pursue his hobbies and whatever makes him happy. Read ( 7 unspoken signs and gestures that prove your man loves you )

Respect him

All men hate disrespect, I repeat, all men hate disrespect. Although quite a number of them behave immaturely atimes, that is not an excuse for you to treat him like a child. Respectfully point out his mistakes and help him adjust.

Don’t bore him

Challenge him intellectually and physically( you know what I mean). Don’t be a bore, let him chase you sometimes. One popular female pastor once said she changes her hairstyle regularly and her husband enjoys it because he is married to a different all the time.

Take Care of Yourself

Once we land the man, we often forget to take care of ourselves and look attractive to him. Some women completely abandon their beauty and care routine the moment they start dating someone and switch back once they are single. Always look beautiful and be hygienic. A man might not say it but he wants you sparkling clean.

3 Reasons Why Money is Very Important in Marriage

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Popular musician, Timi Dakolo recently posted about the importance of money in marriages on Instagram. Here is the post.

This got people talking and many gave very valid comments about the importance of money in marriages. Despite the fact that we want to believe that love conquers all, we cannot deny the luxuries money affords us and why it is an important substance in a marriage.

Love might cover all but love needs to pay bills, pay rent, drive a car, have a stable source of income, go for summer.

Money dictates the financial limitations of every couple irrespective of how much they love each other.

Here are three reasons why money is very important in marriage.

One person cannot carry all the financial burden

While this is always the case in most African relationships, it is very unfair for one person to carry all the financial burden of a marriage. To live comfortable these days, couples are expected to make a lot of money, enough to pay bills, entertain each other and afford certain things. If the person expected to carry the financial burden cannot provide, then what happens to the “love”

Love turns sour when there is no money

90% of marriage woes stem from lack of money. Couples fight more when there is no money. Check all married couples around you, just quietly observe them. You will notice that they fight more when they are “broke” but all the fighting stops when there is money. There are so many ladies that stay in unhappy relationships because there is money. “He provides all my needs”, “he gives me a regular monthly allowance,” even if he beats you black and blue.

Financial Future

I always tell people that rush to get married to stop considering what people say and consider their own wellbeing and happiness. You cannot rush into a marriage when you know that you are not sure about your financial future and the quality of life you will be able to provide your kids.

Money allows you to live well, provide for each other and give your children a good life.

Five types of foreplay you should try with your partner

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Many women complain that the lack of foreplay in bed is an hindrance to their sex life. This is the part where you get to truly feel all of your partner’s senses. Some many think its a waste of time but trust me, both of you will have a more blissful sex life if you invest in foreplay.

Kiss right

Starting out with a kiss will determine how enjoyable it will be for both of you. The kiss is very important and it can be a very hot and heavy makeout session, just ensure he kisses all the right places.

Boobs

Boobs contain nerve endings that can stimulate your partner, so don’t forget about this critical aspect of the body. ou can kiss them, suck on them, lick them, whatever way stimulates your partner.

Dry Hump

Dry humping when fully clothed have a way of heating up the moment. So you can dry hum in the kitchen or anywhere, it is a great way of teasing each other and hightening each other’s sensations.

Labia

The Labia is packed also packed with nerve endings. Don’t ignore the Labia. You can hold each Labia in your hands and stimulate them.

Calm Down

Rushing everything will not satisfy anyone. Relax and be sure to understand how your partner wants to be loved during foreplay. This will really help both of you.

 

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